It Seems 2009 is still trying to kick me in the nuts, still trying to choke me with the last of its feeble strength. For those of you who know me personally you already know how tough last year was… 09 was a year of great loss (but balanced with some great moments and some great people mostly met on forums and Twitter.) I lost my Job, I lost my adoptive father, Lost my savings, etc. etc.
So I promised myself no matter what I was going into 2010 looking forward and upward, letting go of everything bad and just running head long. In my previous posts you’ve already seen that i have submissions out and a ton of projects on the burner… I’m also paid up for Necon 30, considering MoCon, and Looking into a return to CONtext… I’m raring up and taking names.
Well things have progressed… things that started in all that turmoil of last year have decided to catch up to me in this year… I’m not going to turn this blog into a vent about wrongs, or to air greivances, that’s just not right. This site is about my writing and what’s going on in my life mostly around my writing. So let’s concentrate on the facts and “what” but not the “how” and the “who”.
Events in my home have precipated me toward finding another place to live. Only one week ago I was told of pending issues which ‘might result in letting the lease of the apartment lapse in May and cause us all to have to move’. Well as stated earlier i have no savings, it was burned up during months of unemployment as i struggled to get back into a job and continue to pay ALL of my bills.
So by luck my adoptive mother and brother are going to be buying a house and so I decide to get in on this house… while i have no money my credit rating is pretty damn good since i still manage to pay all my bills, so at the least their money my rating… yada (i’m already giving to many details.) So YAY! I say since i will be returning home and I’ll once again be surrounded by family (note I’ve moved 5 times in the last 9 years and its not always been a favorable situation for me.)
Feeling good that things are in the works and that ina few days will be the prelim meeting with the mortgage people I relax and tell my roommates that if things do go south in May I’m alright, I’m taken care of… so this “Force”, this Negativity form Last Year it took that as bait, as a challenge.
Monday, the day of the meeting, I’m at work my Ma’s taking care of it, she calls me while at work. Her credit rating is a little shaky at the moment ( alot of bills since burying Dad… but in good news she’ll have paid off all the credit debt by march and every other bill by april, matter of fact she’d already brought her credit rating up 12 points in dec. alone in prepping for the meeting.) so they reschedule the Mortgage for the 1st of May. This makes me a little worried because my roommates went from maybe lease up in May to definately lease up in May over the weekend. With the appointment in May that means the earliest we could close on a house would be mid may, more likely June… meaning i would need to crash on my ma’s couch because I’ll have to be out of my appartment. This has me a little worried cause were the heck will i put my bed and books and dresser and this computer??
But wait, the Force isn’t done with me yet. I get to my appartment Monday after work and dicsover that my roommates have already started apartment hunting and that they’re out looking at new places…?? WTF? What happened to May? So as of Monday night my roommates loook at me and go we’d like to be out of here by March 1st saying we can break the lease, you can find a place right? I month is more than enough time.
I’m pretty commited to the House idea… I have no savings… so yeah I really can’t even get into a Studio Apartment, especially not if they want first and last… and deposit… forget it… and also why would I rent a place to only have to move out of it in 3-4 months.
So as of yesterday I contacted a few friends and some family and I’ve started to pack my stuff… a bunch of my books will go into a buddies basement (as much as I HATE to box books in a basement at least its cold and dry right now and not all damp summer) My bass guitars and other such will end up at my brothers, my shelves and such as well… I don’t have a clue how I’ll move my bed? Come March first I will be probably be crashing on different couches, living out of my car… or maybe living in a crawlspace under the eaves at my ma’s place (since all the bedrooms are filled). Its gonna be tough as hell and its a little scary, but in the end I’ll be in a brand new house. I just need to make it through all the holy hell to get there, and even when i make plans other people wreck them.
So here’s a little timeline of the high lights just to show you how fast things go to hell around me.
wed. 6th: Maybe issues, might have to move out in May.
Fri. 8th: I make plane to move with my Ma and Bro in or after May, even if things don’t go bad.
Mon 11th noonish- setback on the house, instead of March May for the mortgage.
11th evening- Roommates in a panic say they’ve already found another place they want and they’ll keep this appartment only until the 1st of march.
From issues to fucked in one week.
So yeah I’m a little put out, a little pissed that I’ll be rendered effectively homeless for months, until whenever we can close on a house. I’m angry that my stuff has to be packed into different peoples places, that i won’t be able to look at all the books on their shelves (yeah its a funny thing and probably deserves its own blog), and I’ll probably give up some of my shelves and maybe my desk and such, since i don’t know how I’ll fit it anywhere.. let alone have a van or truck to take it in.
Ok that was a mini vent… here’s the thing. Despite looking at all these hardships, despite wondering if i might have to go without internet (or very limited internet access), despite all that I still feel alright. I’ve found silver linings. For months i won’t have to pay that huge rent check… i can take that money and make larger credit card payments, maybe even get out from under one or two of the damn cards… hell my rent payment was equal to two car payments. I didn’t think I could go to mocon but hell I’ll have extra cash and with all the stress my work will be glad to let me take the vacation time. Shit i might be able to sign back up at the gym…. I’ll have the time and it guarntees me one place i can get a hot shower!
Yeah I’m still worried all to hell and yeah i haven’t slept much and i get sick to my stomach thinking about this crap… But i really do think a lot of good will come of it, hell if i can fit my bed into that crawlspace, attic room thing I might just content myself with staying with my family. Now if i can get over the nerves and start writing again I’ll be in fighting shape as it were.
So now you all know what’s happening and if i dissappear for a spell or two you know I’m just working through some stuff and I’ll be back when I can. Hell I got a ton of more books to review eventually.